


I Am Alive

by deathwailart



Category: Mass Effect
Genre: Alternate Universe - Pacific Rim Fusion, Gen, Ghost Drifting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-23
Updated: 2013-12-23
Packaged: 2018-01-05 16:30:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,452
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1096122
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/deathwailart/pseuds/deathwailart
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Pacific Rim AU - Shepard and EDI are the first organic and AI to team up as co-pilots.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I Am Alive

It's never been done before but then again there has never been a woman like Shepard before and equally, there has never been an AI like EDI before. The Reapers are at their door and thanks to her resurrection, there's no one else they can put in the rebuilt Normandy and besides, EDI has always been part of the Normandy's systems since Cerberus rebuilt her. She just has a body now, a jaeger body built from parts and pieces of the original Normandy moulded into something new, something she turned against.  
  
It's a hell of a risk but worth it in Shepard's opinion. So they give her a new name. No longer the Normandy Omega, now she's the Normandy Unshackled and EDI's smile when she looks at her undergoing diagnostics (and she's still in there, EDI _is_ the Normandy so who the hell better to pilot the jaeger with now?) with her heart on display is worth more than Shepard can put into words. _Kaidan would know_ , she thinks and there's that pang, his scream when he was ripped out of the Normandy and out of her head and she has to shake it away. EDI was there for that too, her systems barely holding the Normandy together as Shepard waded through the ocean of an alien world with her brain and suit burning red hot against her skin, EDI urging her to stay with her, please Shepard, please, keep going, approaching land—  
  
_"Shepard, listen to me-"_  
  
"Shepard, I have been calculating the likelihood of a successful drift—" EDI's voice rouses her from her memories but she shakes her head anyway to clear the cobwebs and looks away from the hulking creation they're looking up at.  
  
"EDI," she starts, holding her hands in hers and the little flinch of surprise is so human she can't help but smile. "You're ready. I'm ready. There's no one else who knows me better than you."  
  
"You...have faith in me." She sounds awed when she says it and Shepard just smiles before it hits her – this is huge for EDI. EDI is trusted by people in shatterdomes the same way a machine is trusted to do its job. Shepad is trusting her as an equal partner.  
  
"Of course I do EDI. You've always been a part of the crew, there's no one else I'd have in the new Normandy."  
  
There's no way of knowing when the next attack will be and Shepard hasn't slept well since she lost Kaidan so she tosses and turns and when the alarms go off, it's almost a relief. Grabbing an energy bar and juice, throwing on the N7 hoodie, jeans and boots, stripping out of that and into her suit – it's all routine, she's done it time and time again but this time it's EDI with her silver sheen next to her and not Kaidan, EDI being hooked up the way they used to with the old quarian jaegers that had geth technology, wires leading out of her and for a moment, Shepard is envious. She's always had a connection with the Normandy and the crew talk about how she ghost drifts but EDI's going to be connected on a whole other level. Then she remembers that they'll be sharing a mind, that she'll be there right along with her and she smiles.  
  
She reaches out with her left hand, squeezing EDI's right before letting go.  
  
"Remember, stay in the drift."  
  
"I will...Shepard?"  
  
"Yeah?"  
  
"Is it natural to be apprehensive?"  
  
"Yeah. It's going to be intense but you've been there before. I'll look out for you."  
  
Intense doesn't even begin to cover it.  
  
_01001000  
01000101  
01001100  
01010000_  
_Shepard, listen to me-_  
_experiment, part of what we fight_  
_Growing up hungry and cold, Reds tattoo on her wrist, always fighting, always sticking together-_  
_I am alive-_  
  
She hears, "neural handshake holding steady" and grins. EDI's smile is one of awe – if she were human, Shepard's sure she'd be about to cry. But they can't. There's a Reaper to bring down and the Normandy Unshackled is the only one for the job.  
  
The fight is intense the way it always is because no two Reapers are the same and controlling a biotic jaeger is one of the hardest tasks anyone's ever had to accomplish because it burns you out both physically in terms of the fight and mentally in channelling your own biotics through a machine. The asari are the best with their biotic jaegers but all jaegers made on Thessia are lighter – easier to rebuild and this is a fight for survival and everyone climbing into the cockpit knows there's an increasingly higher chance that they won't be coming back. She's never done this without the reassuring presence of Kaidan, the one with biotics and tech skills where she's an adept through and through and EDI is all machine, brilliant and powerful and beautifully designed but she's not organic. But they know each other, the drift is strong and bright and warm and it's been hard since Kaidan died and throughout the whole fight, she can feel herself smiling, shouting orders and instructions, keeping LOCCENT up to speed as EDI's thoughts and hers meet, mutual encouragement and reassurance. EDI's joy is brighter still, like a flare or a star and when they get back to base she realises she's crying when EDI's cool hand touches her cheek.  
  
She trembles when she disengages from the jaeger and the sense of loss sends her reeling – somehow her and EDI manage to keep one another upright even as EDI runs more diagnostics, chatter from Anderson in her ear and she must manage some confirmation because she'd know his sigh of relief anywhere. Shepard's always been clingy after she gets out of a drift and it used to embarrass her because whoever's in the drift? They know it's because she's never had much to hold close in her life up to now. It's EDI's panic that she doesn't know how to react to at first when suddenly she's being squeezed so tight she can't breathe and when she opens her mouth, she forgets how to speak because it's just binary flashing through her head until she tucks EDI against her (prising herself free for a moment so she's not being crushed) and they make it back to Shepard's room.  
  
"I did not...what I experienced in the drift – is that what it is, to be human? To be alive?" EDI asks as Shepard opens the door and starts to squirm out of the hoodie she changed into. She always needs to feel skin against hers out of the drift too and that's when she remembers that she needs to ask, needs to check boundaries here because after the first time, her and Kaidan would run back, strip off and lie pressed together, chest to chest until the tremors had passed before things progressed any further.  
  
"I don't know, yes? Probably. Your mind EDI, how you process everything-"  
  
"Your heart." And it's that ragged edge to her voice, hurting and frightened and overwhelmed that has Shepard grabbing EDI's hand and sliding it beneath her shirt. "Oh."  
  
She smiles and rests her head against EDI's and directs them to the bed because it's easier even if she's still got her boots on. "Yeah. It's the aftershocks, hits everyone differently. I always need to be close to my co-pilot, see them, hear them, feel them, smell them."  
  
She stops talking and they're still connected because when her shirt is tugged, she sits up and pulls it off then – still with one of EDI's hands pressed to her chest – gets out of her boots and jeans, stretching out in her underwear, feeling the tension in her spine abate.  
  
"I don't—you and Kaidan, I know you were—I mean, I can't give you this."  
  
"EDI—"  
  
"I should-"  
  
"C'mere-"  
  
She doesn't actually know if she's touching the right place but she doesn't want EDI to leave and if she's left alone right now she'll fall apart so she tugs her back with one hand then uses the other to slide over metal that's been warmed by her own skin until she finds somewhere that seems to buzz, hunching over awkwardly to listen to a steady hum and whirring. Satisfied, she presses her hand flat and leans her forehead against EDI's.  
  
"There," she says, "right there."  
  
When EDI smiles it's the same flare as in the drift in the pit of Shepard's stomach – there's a long way to go but she feels right and right before she drifts off into the easiest sleep since she lost Kaidan, she hears EDI whisper _I am alive_ and squeezes her hand again.


End file.
